In memoriam: Theodora Guerard Huguenin Keyserling (December 17, 1919-August 1, 2009)
Son delivers eulogy for one of Beaufort’s true grande dames, Thedie Keyserling
One of Beaufort’s true grande dames, Theodora Guerard Huguenin Keyserling, known affectionately as Thedie, died August 1, 2009, at the age of almost 90 years. Here is what was said at her funeral service on August 4 at St. Helena’s Episcopal Church in Beaufort by her son, Jonathon Keyserling, surrounded by hundreds of Thedie’s friends and family members:
First, I want to welcome all of Mom’s family here today.
I am the youngest of Mom’s kids, and known for too many years as “The Baby” of the family. Picture that, me, as the baby.
I never imagined one of my roles as the youngest would be to deliver comments like this, but I had the honor to do that for our sister, Joy, resting right over there, and the family asked me to do a repeat performance, so here goes.
But, before I start, I need to say something about birth order and roles in families. Our brother Michael is the oldest and by tradition, duty, or love, has shouldered a tremendous burden for the past several years as the primary caregiver of our mother. So Michael, Mark, Steven and I join to thank you for being your mother’s son and stepping up to offer a soft voice, a kind heart and a steady hand in the care of our mother.
When our family talked about our mother, there seemed to be a recurring theme that came out of the stories and experiences. It took many forms, but to put it into simple words, we can best describe it as her dedication to “family”. Please bear with me because this notion of family took many shapes with our mother. Everyone she met somehow became a part of her family.
Mom’s first family is probably traced back to her leaving her “family” plantation, over in “Rizeland”, as she affectionately called Ridgeland, at the age of 18, her family having lived on the same plantation since the 1700s, including such family names as Geurard, Gaillard, and all of the Huguenot families of old South Carolna. She was always proud to regale us with stories of her ancestral family having a history of service, whether it was as a representative to the first Provisional Congress, a representative at the Secession Convention, or as officers in the Confederate Army.
Thedie at age 21
Mom broadened that family by marrying into a first generation immigrant family and moving north across the Broad River to the greater metropolitan area of Beaufort. Even when she was destined to begin a new family, Mom took on, at an early age, a matriarchal role that she was to continue throughout her life, as she brought to Beaufort two of her younger sisters and a younger brother. Again, it was about her family.
To her last she regarded her sister’s children as own, once removed. It didn’t matter where you lived, or to whom within the family you were related, you always returned to stay with her for family visits and were always welcomed. So successful was she in this matriarchal role that her family nickname was “Duchess”, aptly given to her by the late Dr. Herbert Keyserling.
As her own family grew and her children’s horizons and friendships grew, our friends were always welcomed around the family dinner table, which by the way was at midday, not in the evening. In the evening we had “supper”. There were usually ten to twelve for dinner every day. Included among them were many of you I see here today, As I look around, today, I can see many of you who joined us during those meals, and by God, you must have eaten well because most of you have the extra pounds to show for it. Mom would have loved to have seen that, because all of you are part of her family that she loved and tried to serve as best she could.
It wasn’t just our friends who would make up a family for our mother. She also invited an entire generation of school teachers into our home, and, because it has always been a focal point for us, we found them at the table at mealtimes.
She joined her family with those of both St. Helena’s Church and Beth Israel Synagogue, making sure her children were involved and exposed to both. She joined and led her sisters in the auxiliaries of both congregations, serving on the vestry, alter guild and so many other service organizations of both. In her effort to expand her family, she brings to mind her skill as a seamstress, sewing together the vestments for the church, and making aprons and “church mice” for the bazaars that were so sought after that she was often contacted before the event and asked to hold them for particular people.
And, she applied these skills and love when she made untold numbers of absolutely exquisite matching smocked dresses for her grand daughters and the short panted suits for the boys. As our own children, and mother’s grand children and even great grand children grew up, she moved, in her quiet manner, into knitting incredibly delicate and small sweater sets for the newborns of the church. Again, she was always expanding her idea of family and what it means.
She further expanded her sense of family into the field of art by helping found and by leading the Art Association of Beaufort. Some of her early art friends are here today, and we aren’t talking about cave paintings. It doesn’t go back that far. Today the homes of her children are graced by the paintings of her family plantation, portraits of family members and sculpted heads of family and friends.
She was active in the sisterhood of the Order of the Eastern Star and the Business and Professional Women’s Club. The list of civic service goes on and on as she ever expanded her concept of service to another family, her community. Since I mentioned the community, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell a tale on our mother. She would never think of going into town, or for that matter, ever being seen, without her hair done up, her make-up perfectly applied, her girdle cinched up (I guess I can say that), and a fresh dress on. All of that just to go to the post office each day. On Sunday, it was even more of a show with her lovely, and I use that term in an endearing way, hats.
After our father’s death she married again, to her husband’s first cousin, Leroy Keyserling, giving new meaning to the word family, and bringing us a new uncle and aunt. Actually, they weren’t exactly new but it did help clarify an issue that had been around for ages as we had always referred to them as Uncle Harold and Aunt Mary even though they were actually cousins. Ah, her sense of family. At least she didn’t have to change the monogram on the linens or silver.
As our mother grew older, she fought confinement and isolation with all she had at her disposal. But, time passed and Mom hated to admit it, but she needed help. Our sister Joy came home, and while at times, Mom referred to her as “the Warden”, it was always with a twinkle in her eye and deep love for the care and protection she was receiving from her daughter. Today, we let them rest, side by side, together again..
As her struggle with Alzheimer’s went forward, she began to require more care than any of her immediate family could adequately provide. She moved in with another whole new family, a group of professionals that could and did provide her with all of the specialized care that she needed. Again another family, one that loved her, tended to her and saw to her every need, and provided her with unbridled care and devotion. I see and want to thank the staff at Summit Place.
Before I close, I also want to recognize other family members who were a huge part of Mom’s life, in devotion, love and tender care. Clayton, Melinda and Rhoda.
Our mother was a lady of outstanding beauty and dignity. She graced us with her presence and she will be sorely missed by all the members of her many families. I’ll not attempt to assure you of her rewards to come or what the future holds for her as the priest has done a marvelous job of that already. I just want to say thank you to all of her many families that are with us here today to celebrate her life.
And, Mom, to use your own words, that all of us heard repeated, oh so many times as we walked out the door to go to school, to go on a date, to start our own lives, and now, we say it to you, as you go down this path, “Remember, you represent the family”.
History:
Theodora Guerard Huguenin Keyserling
She was born December 17, 1919, in Adel, Georgia, home of her mother Beulah Corbett Huguenin. Her childhood was spent on Roseland Plantation in Coosawhatchie, South Carolina, ancestral home of her father, Edward Percy Huguenin, Jr.
She was graduated from Ridgeland High School, attended Winthrop College and moved to Beaufort, SC in 1938 after her marriage to Harold Levy Keyserling.
Mother of five children, she worked as an administrative assistant for her husband at McDonald-Wilkins and was extremely active in civic and religious affairs in Beaufort. She held state and local positions of leadership in many of these including the Thomas Heyward Chapter of Daughters of the American Revolution, various Parent-Teacher Associations, Beaufort Art Association, Business and Professional Women’s Club and Order of the Eastern Star.
She was a life long member of St. Helena’s Episcopal Church and was active in a number of different roles within the church and at the same time took an active and leadership role in the Lady’s Auxiliary at Beth Israel Synagogue.
After her first husband’s death she wed Leroy H. Keyserling and took great pleasure in serving as one of Beaufort Society’s “Grande Dames.”
As a skilled seamstress and talented artist her creations always commanded a premium at the bazaars to which she contributed them.
She was known for her sharp, sometimes acerbic wit. After the premature death of her younger sister, she was addressed by one of her friends, (Julia Kinghorn) at the funeral. The friend remarked that she hoped that Irene had died in “the arms of Jesus.” Wherein Thedie replied that “in fact, she had died in bed with her husband.”
Upon exiting from St. Helena’s church after services one Sunday the priest commented to her that she certainly appeared to the “best dressed of the congregants.” Her reply was to thank him for the compliment, but frankly she “would rather have the cash.”
Both of her husbands and her daughter, Joy Keyserling, predeceased her. She is survived by four sons, Michael, Mark, Steven of Beaufort and Jonathan, of Potomac Falls, Virginia.
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